Leave Fear at the Door

Fear is a funny thing, it either drives you forward or it holds you back. As an artist fear is something that I have to remain concious of each and every time I step through the studio door. It can show up at the most inopportune moments, like working on an exhibition series and beginning to doubt your vision when you're three quarters of the way finished. It can show up when I compare my sales to what I'm seeing on social media and when I'm just generally in a mood. This is the kind of fear that holds me back, begins to eat away at my confidence and leads me to question if my art is good enough. The result is work that's tight, which leads to frustration, which leads for more fear!

On the other hand, there's the kind of fear that dares me to redefine my art, to push it closer to who I am as an artist, a human being. I love this kind of fear. You see I'm a Scorpio, I'm strong willed, determined. No, is not something that deters me often. I see this kind of fear as a challenge. Do you remember being a child in school and all the kids around you are working diligently coloring with their crayons, using the color that the kid next to them is using for the trees, the grass, the sky? I wasn't that kid, I have always wanted to color outside the lines and it was scary to be that kid, because I was also painfully shy. When I accept those challenges, everything works. I'm not saying it's easy, there are moments when I want to bail, but staying the course always, always, always reaps benefits that I wouldn't have received if I hadn't said yes, fuck it, I'm doing this.

What I've discoverered over my many years is that coloring outside the lines, is where the juice is, that's where we grow, gain confidence and like a flower we bloom. In my last post I mentioned my recent trip, althought I wasn't alone on that excursion I will be traveling alone in September for an art residency in France. Last year I spent about a week in Cornwall, UK wandering around. Am I totally comfortable? No, no I'm not but what I gain by facing that fear is empowering. Thoses feelings translate in the studio, my work is more impactful, truer and freer, I can't get enough. Not to mention visiting galleries and museums

that set my soul on fire and inspire me to dig deeper.

Fear is a tool, you just gotta learn how to use it.

Angelique